Each Birth Order has its unique way of thinking since each child develops his or her own thinking pattern within the context of birth order. The Only Child, not affected by any other Birth Order, develops an organized way of thinking that involves filing things away mentally. The First Born pays close attention to how parents and other adults think, the Second Born reacts to how the First Born thinks, the Third Born reacts to the Second Born and the Fourth Born reacts to the Third Born.
The Only Child in childhood experiences that things stay where he or she puts them. This experience leads the Only Child to think organizationally by putting thoughts into a mental filing system. This thinking makes Onlies comfortable with order but uncomfortable with chaos.
A sense of being in a world without love drives First Born thinking. Looking for love from parents and other adults makes the First Born pay close attention to what adults say. They especially try to divine the meaning of what is said. Paying attention to adults makes their thinking disjointed as they move from one adult to another. They lack order in their thinking as they jump on new things as they hear them.
Perfection drives the Second Born into creating a system for their thinking. They react to the First Born scattered thinking by linking things together in their own minds. Whatever new idea they meet they want to connect with something they already know. Connecting things becomes more important than the meaning of things. Thought becomes less driven by emotion than by a need for rational order.
The cold logic of the Second Born is a turnoff for the Third Born. So, rather than linking things by simple connection the Third Born includes meaning and feeling in their thinking. Including meaning and feeling turns links into comparisons. This thinking enables creativity that gives rise to new ideas. The Third Born creativity makes them want to think for First Borns who look for meaning and for Second Borns whose thinking may be emotionally sterile.
Feeling superior, the Third Born tries to think for the Fourth Born. Under this pressure Third Born pressure the Fourth Born wants to do his or her own thinking. Unable to easily out think the Third Born, the Fourth Born is driven to do endless analysis. The Fourth born is also compelled to reject Third Born thinking in every way possible.
The thinking patterns can be observed in practice. The Only Child deals with time, space and things to create order. Onlies ask when, where and what? Their natural response to something that does not fit is “that doesn’t make sense”.
The First Born wants to know the significance of things. They commonly ask, “What does that mean?” Told how to do something they want to know why it has to be done that way. At school, they tend to do better in classes when teachers explain why they need to learn history, algebra or the periodic tables.
Second Borns pay attention to connections in their thinking. They like to consider the links connecting society such as contracts, rules, policies, finances, organizations, and authority. Emotions tend to get short shrift since they are not essential to links. On the positive side, writing is a special Second Born skill as they link one sentence to the next to make their writing flow.
The Third Born makes comparisons in reaction to Second Born linking. A link becomes a comparison when it contains emotional elements. Including feelings makes them into creative thinkers, inventors and explorers. They see their form of thinking to be superior to that of First and Second Borns. Because they see their thinking as better they can be pushy.
Third Borns, pushing their thinking, affect the Fourth Born. It is as if Fourth Born thinking has no value. In reaction the Fourth Born works hard at thinking, analyzing things endlessly. Not wanting the Third Born or anyone else to think for him or her, the Fourth Born rejects, disagrees with or ignores what others say. Fourth Borns can appear unintelligent or childish as they reject ideas in outlandish ways. On the other hand, Fourth Born thinking outside the box contributes to philosophy and religion.
5 comments on Birth Order Thinking
Add a comment
To add comments without entering your email and image verification, you must be logged in. Login or Join Blogster
This is a very imformative article! Could you explain why a second born's blind spot is others' emotions and why a fourth born cannot have close friends?
Hello Jesse,
Thanks for the feedback! The Second Born finds emotions to be a source of pain when childhood memories kick in. This probably comes from losing attention to the first born sibling who takes advantage of the situation. To deal with the pain the Second Born chooses to hide his or her feelings. This means that the Second Born must respond to others' emotions rationally so that he or she appears to ignore others's feelings.
The Fourth Born cannot have close friends if the Fourth Born is resisting others thinking for him or her. This Fourth Born has to disagree, reject, ridicule or ignore others' ideas. That does not make for good friendship.
The most common reason for any Birth Order to not have close friends is underlying anger. This anger, though hidden, comes out in non-verbal communication such as tone of voice, facial expressions, look in the eyes, posture, even flushing of the skin. Others have learned to move away from anger making friendships difficult for the angry person. It pays to get help with past issues to get rid of hidden anger.
Appreciate your thoughtful questions,
Cliff
Hi
I am an only with a third born mother and a second born fateher. I am much closer to my mother than my father. My mother has soo much influence on me and I have been very obedient (never rebelled). I would say that my mother is the supper intelligent third born. - She has done only Ordinay level arithmatics. But if I explain to her Advanced math problems in her own language, she solves them.- she is not a very paractical person. Does not have close friends definitely. Acts on impulse. Not very social. Highly commited to the family. Puts huge amount of pressure to succeed on me and my father. Highly disorganised and never on time. My father is hard working. Highly organised, Not very intelligent second born but more educated. Bears a lot of abue from my mother. High on principles. He has less influence on me compared to mum.
To make things worse for the only, I was mostly home schooled until primary 4 where our family lived in a remote area where my father was working. Our family was never seperated except for when my father was away working for 1 year when I was 2 years old.
I know I have the distinct only character set. From my description of my Mother and father, I wonder what other secondary characteristics you might deduce I have.
You're doing some great Birth Order analysis!
As an Only, you should have Third Born from your mother and Second Born from your father. Since Third Born comes from your mother it influences how you view the world - especially reacting to chaos in your world but going along just as you did with your mother. Your secondary Second Born would make you critical of yourself because you internalize what you get from your father.
I have engaged with an extra beautiful 4th born (Out of my league). We were attracted to each other initially and now all her characteristics are out in the open. I do not need to discribe to you about this personality clash as it is exacly what is in your books. I see the anger, and all what you have said on all your birth order writings about onlies and 4ths relationships.
I got engaged before I read about Birth order. I am ready to sacrifice a lot to make this relationship work. I want to use my intelligence to make this work. Have you come across any onlies who have been able to successfully manage a 4th wit commitment phorbia and the worst 4th born characteristics?
Could I use my intelligence to make this work?