Fourth Borns Play Rough

September 18, 2005 / by birthorder

In playing with older siblings the Fourth Born learned to play rough. The Fourth Born did not have to hold back because the older siblings could take it. This Birth Order plays rough in many ways in adult life as well.

Fourth Born humor is often rough, so rough that others think the Fourth Born is mean rather than funny. Fourth Borns can insult others unmercifully, tease a child till the child cries and intimidate others with anger. Many coaches are Fourth Borns who like to be rough with their players. The Fourth Born trying to play rough can be the loudest person at a gathering using the most profanity. The Fourth Born may be a workaholic because hard work challenges the Fourth Born to be rough. The Fourth Born can be rough at home by engaging in domestic abuse when angry. Fourth Borns can be rough with themselves by ignoring major health concerns with behaviors that could harm them.

To get out of this pattern the Fourth Born needs to perceive him or herself as a grown-up among grown-ups rather than as a child with older siblings. This new perception can produce a gentler, kinder Fourth Born.

The above does not apply to all Fourth Borns. Many are kind, gentle and caring human beings to start with. They grew without having to fight their way through older siblings. Or, perhaps they learned to be gentle anyway by seeing themselves as adults.


4 comments on Fourth Borns Play Rough

  • TheGardener said 3 years ago
    Your Walk in the Woods blog about coaches being Fourths got me to thinking about the
    many coaches I've witnessed in action, as a student or as a teacher. I hadn't considered their birth order, but being Fourth makes their behavior make sense. And it explains why they used to drive me crazy--yet I never let on. In fact, they tried awfully hard to get the best of me, and I figured out how to win every time, ha!
    I saw them as immature, very controlling, often abusive. I pretended not to be bothered by their behavior, just went about my own business. When I resigned from my job, several of them surprised me by saying they were going to miss me! Love your blog and your books, Birth Order Effect and Birth Order Effect for Couples!

  • birthorder said 3 years ago
    In a world of older siblings they have to be rough, but they're having fun. You were a challenge to them they enjoyed though you couldn't tell - they just seemed to be mean. When they said they would miss you they were sincere.
  • mereonair said 2 years ago
    I am a fourth born. And, I think I am wayyy more worried if I will hurt everyone else's feelings. I think being the youngest/fourth, you can almost take more, because you are used to be picked on, etc. And, as I get older, I realize I will put up with a lot more than most, because I am essentially conditioned to be picked on. I really had to work on that throughout the years. I am facinated by the subject.[THUMBUP]
  • autiger23 said 2 years ago
    I'm a fourth born, too, and I definitely have to stop myself from being cutting when joking with people. Being a fourth born also helps me understand what crosses the line and ends up hurting people's feelings more than others. One of my co-workers is an Only and we both tend to be the jokesters in the office, but often he'll make a joke that I refrained from because it was hurtful. I'll say something to him later about it and he'll go apologize for saying it.

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