Profile by Birth Order

This is to offer a Birth Order profile of Mary Winkler who killed her preacher husband. She stands a good chance of getting by with murder by using something like the following explanation of what happened.

She’ll tell about emotional abuse by her husband, claiming that he would not listen to her, would turn away when she needed sympathy and would not let her do what she wanted to do. Finally, when she could no longer take it she decided she would leave the marriage, renting a condominium to live in with her children. She’ll say that her husband threatened to take the children from her if she left so she came up with an alternative plan. She would kill herself. However, just killing herself would not be enough – she had to kill herself in his presence. So, she confronted him, telling him of her intention at which he laughed and turned away. At that point something snapped in her so she shot him but does not remember doing it. Seeing him lying on the floor, she assumed he was putting on, that he was not hurt so she left with the children. Now, she just wishes she had killed herself as she had planned instead of confronting him. It makes good sense if you do not understand the dynamics of her personality.

Here’s most likely what happened. She felt trapped in the marriage not because the marriage was bad but because she felt trapped from memories of being trapped. In fact, because the marriage was good she felt even more trapped. She could not convince anyone that her husband was bad, that their marriage was no good and that she was a victim. She could give no good reason to leave the marriage. So, she felt increasingly trapped. To escape she came up with the scenario described above, rented the condo and picked her time to kill her husband. She probably shot him five times to be sure he was dead. After the killing she acted out the scenario of the apologetic victim who did something she could never imagine doing. There would be tears at the appropriate times so hearts would go out to her. She was convinced a jury would understand.

How does this relate to Birth Order? The feeling of being trapped belongs to Fourth Born. It comes from being overpowered by older siblings when the Fourth Born felt helpless. The vast majority of Fourth Borns deal with the feeling of being trapped so it does not affect their lives. Some blame their feeling of being trapped on their spouse. The most common way they keep from feeling trapped is to make the spouse look bad to others, maybe even to the law. There are many on abuse registries because their spouses lied to get them there. When this not possible the person may resort to murder with a cover story to get away with it.

Because of exceptions to Birth Order the Fourth Born personality may not be fourth in the family.

The facial expressions in the family photo suggest that her husband was on Only and she was a Fourth. A Fourth and an Only are not equipped to understand each other. The Fourth analyzes everything, the Only organizes everything. So, when the Fourth presents an analysis, the Only organizes it to the frustration of the Fourth Born. When the Only organizes something the Fourth tends to disrupt the organization with analyzing that frustrates the Only.