Sibling Birth Order

Sibling Birth Order

The July 10 Time magazine ran articles under the heading of "How your siblings make you who you are." They did not connect with Birth Order but instead claimed that sibling relationships disproved Birth Order. Thirty-six years ago I discovered that sibling relationships caused Birth Order.

We can applaud the attention given to sibling relationships. It's going to shed more light on the phenomenon of Birth Order once researchers discover that these relationships determine Birth Order. According to the magazine the study of sibling relationships is widespread among universities and colleges.

The sex of siblings affects the expression of Birth Order personality although it does not affect the Birth Order itself. A Second Born is a Second Born whether the next older sibling is of the same sex or the opposite sex.

A First Born male who has a Second Born brother has less confidence in himself because his brother dethrones him. A younger sister would be less likely to challenge him. The same applies if the First Born is a female with a younger sister who dethrones her so she has less self-confidence. A younger brother would be unlikely to dethrone an older First Born sister.

If the Second Born has an older sibling of the same sex he or she tends to be more competitive, more emotionally rigid and more perfectionistic. A Second Born male with an older sister or a Second Born female with an older brother tend to be more mellow from not having to compete with an older sibling as much.

Sex of the older sibling determines whether a Third Born is fearless or fearful in relationships. Third Borns with same sex Second Born siblings tend to be fearless in that they have to prove they are not afraid. A Third Born male with a Second Born older sister or a Third Born female with an older Second Born brother tend to be more cautious because they do not have the older sibling to force them to be fearless.

There seems to be no consistent effect of gender difference on the Fourth Born. A Fourth Born can be a passive type or an angry type. This seems to be the consequence of harmony or lack of harmony in the family rather than gender.

Age makes a difference. People change during the midlife transition from age 38-42 so that their expression of Birth Order changes. Men go from being goal oriented to relationship oriented and women go from being relationship oriented to being goal oriented. First Born women go from wanting to satisfy others to accomplishing things.

First Born men go from achievement to a desire to satisfy others while First Born women go from satisfying others to satisfying themselves. Second Born women go from disciplining kids to disciplining themselves while Second Born men become more lenient with themselves. Third Born women go from pleasing others to pleasing themselves and Third Born men become more interested in pleasing others. Fourth Born women go from being a companion to their children to taking charge of their lives while Fourth Born men go from being in charge to wanting to relate.

Only Child women go from enabling their children to do things to doing things themselves. Only Child men go from doing things to enabling others to do things as they get older. Only Children who have siblings are more expressive if their siblings are older.

Observe men and women in later years. Gramps is at the local coffee shop relating to others. Grandma is at home making quilts, afghans and doing scrap booking.